It was a girl

I had my 6 week follow-up appointment today. Steve came with me. The OB read the reports and told us that they hadn't found anything chromosomally wrong with the baby. I asked if the report said whether it was a boy or a girl and she it did and asked if we wanted to know. I said yes, and she said, "it was a girl."

I was gutted.

I knew it was a girl, but having the confirmation just....I don't know....It hit me hard. Jesse knew our next baby would be a girl. He was certain. So certain that I had believed it too. And I wanted a girl so badly. Of course I'd have been perfectly happy with another boy. But now...knowing that we had our girl and lost her....I'm not sure where to go from here.

I want my baby girl back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited later to add:

We named her Carys.

Derived from Welsh caru meaning "love".